EXHALING SHADOW

 EXHALING SHADOW. 

(A shadow work through writing. I tend to work though my issues and vent via writing. This is how I purge. I make art.)

I remain. 

I'm the same nonbinary exquisiteness too unique to tame. Been given many nicknames but only one of them win the game. Alberto with an "O" at the end but they still try control my essence and presence by calling me "Albert" knowing gawd damn well, that ain't my MF'ing name. 

The blame. 

I caught it since birth. In a system designed to determine my worth by my skin tone first and the needless hurdles the racist people in power coerce everybody like me to jump through, without giving me the time to rehearse. I've been called lazy, stupid, useless and crazy. Their superiority masking their inferiority, the minority in power got us calling ourselves minority.

Never acknowledging the truth that I'm in actuality the reverse of everything they believe, in their hate filled perspective of the universe. 

How is shit still the same?

The other day I called to all my ancestors when fear tried to hush me. I refuse to let the world I live in crush me. I woke up the angry dead in my soul and in my world.

Now their marching on the heads of those who oppose equality, equity and freedom for all. All they said was " no need to run, we stand tall like the tree of life, we fight and we shall always overcome." 

I refrain.

I refuse to excuse hate or bigotry. If your covering your face to feel safe while making others feel unsafe, your a coward. Using the law to be lawless making children represent themselves in court because deep down you know what your doing is demonic and anonymity is the only cover that gives you temporary and borrowed power. I know it's hard to face this but I'm a need you to taste this; I will always be more human than a racist and if you feel hurt or attacked when I denounce fascists, nazis and racists, than unfortunately, you're a racist. I'm sorry if you find the truth sour.

I remain. 

Some think those of my ethnicity are born to complain. As if I should silence my voice, as if they and I have the same choices or choice. If that were true, why than do they rush to hush voices, burn books, alter history to favor misery, feigning ignorance and righteousness at the same time, they're passive aggressively or aggressive aggressively, inflicting hardship, disparity and shame? If I don't speak up and say "you're causing me and mine agony, you like your ancestors before you, would think that I somehow enjoy the pain. 

If I return the favor, I'm labeled a savage. Some violent inarticulate thug, who probably sells drugs and is just out to cause damage. It's sheer privilege and audacity to think you can mitigate my outrage. How is the expression of the pain caused to me by injustice, some how yours to manage? Some wounds not even time can heal or bandage.

Karma I will no longer wait for or solicit. Knowing damn well that if you harm me or mine, my answer will be prolific. Did you know there are incantations, rituals and spells in the Akashic realms that I occasionally visit? Those of which traverse space and time enabling the most intrepid of Sorcerers to go back to your ancestors day and slay? Ancient magics can be so horrific. 

Specific. 

Dolorific. 

Tenebrific.

I can do more than just pray. 

Such are the tools that are used by a fed up, Mystic. Foolish games and the hurt they cause is why I've never been one to play. 

Karma whispers prophecy and assures me, for the evil great and small that all we do, in some way we all pay. I'll keep my shadows at bay and salvage some hope and light for tomorrow, today.